The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
