according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize