remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize