No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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