And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
