just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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