Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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