she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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