I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
