Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
