omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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