butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
