I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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