Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
two words: eviction party
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
