it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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