1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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