I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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