Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
