Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.

  (415): View more from California

  Watch for tornadoes.

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  (415): I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana? (512): Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought. (415): Watch for tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/7qwf
  Replies (33) Good night (2489) Bad night (576)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?

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  (281): So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls? http://tfl.nu/vzcb
  Replies (133) Good night (933) Bad night (6101)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"

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  (516): i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth" http://tfl.nu/n9fj
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.

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  (201): It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name. http://tfl.nu/d1cf
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.

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  (724): I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head. http://tfl.nu/4vvd
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.

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  (507): ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back. http://tfl.nu/m5i6
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.

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  (903): He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well. http://tfl.nu/h56s
  Replies (8) Good night (5328) Bad night (730)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.

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  (321): Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked. http://tfl.nu/cr3f
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.

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  (443): His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number. http://tfl.nu/j9e9
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  (347): View more from New York

  He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?

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  (347): He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family? http://tfl.nu/6x1g
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  (760): View more from California

  I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore

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  (760): I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore http://tfl.nu/3q10
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight

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  (406): Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight http://tfl.nu/ih4l
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."

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  (330): At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS." http://tfl.nu/bswl
  Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (707)
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  (323): View more from California

  but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"

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  (323): but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA" http://tfl.nu/kezs
  Replies (2) Good night (596) Bad night (274)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.

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  (605): Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat. http://tfl.nu/bfhd
  Replies (5) Good night (560) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt

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