it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.