Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize