fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house