I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
