last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize