I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
