why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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