Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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