Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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