you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
