So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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