well I can't set my house on fire every night
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
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I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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