so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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