I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize