Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
vagina is talking i cant
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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