speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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