ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
bring money and cleavage
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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