he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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