she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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