yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
