I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
