do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
