Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
