He disabled his match.com account in front of me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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