girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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