He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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