I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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