Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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