I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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