dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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