Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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