In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
