piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize