nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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