Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
