i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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