Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
