Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
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He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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