I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize