so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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