remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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