am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
A+ Viking dick
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
